The overall essay fulfilled the requirements of the question. However, it lacks the use of certain critical transitions. The introduction does include the thesis statement which gives us a clear idea on the content of the essay.
There are two body paragraphs which separate the two of arguments. On the other hand, I feel that Joshua should split up the paragraphs into their similarities. I would like to query Joshua what it meant by “mangrove support fisheries as they could harbour diverse species of fishes.” Does it mean that mangrove habor the fishes?
In the 3rd paragraph, the untapped potentials are rather confusing. Besides that, in order to differentiate between the various untapped potential, the transitional signals used has been repeated.
Lastly, the conclusion does summarize the key points highlighted in the body paragraph. But in my opinion, there should many supporting details on utilizing ecosystem to combat climate change
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From Chee Hou's review on my essay, I have learned that one of the weakest area in my essay is the lack of transition which have caused confusion to the reader.
ReplyDeleteAs for his query regarding the statement "mangrove support fisheries as they could harbour diverse species of fishes", what it means is that mangrove could provide an better environment for the propagation of diverse species of fishes. I would rephrase the sentence in my essay to prevent confusion to the reader.